Currently Listening The Lion King (1997 Original Broadway Cast) By Elton John, Tim Rice, Heather Headley, Mark Mancina shadowland see related

you know....i have a great life. i hate how i take it for granted ALL THE FREAKIN TIME!!!!! my gaps are the best and i have countless other friends that amaze me. i really will miss high school. its my senior year and im having a ball....but the fact that it has to end sucks. sure i will live with leigh ann, justin, and alex next year but it kills me to think of all the people i wont ever see again that are a part of my daily life. i dont like how life changes. although i do feel ready for the next step....i just love where i am at.

the coolest part of life though is the evolution or becoming who you are. i love how no one can be like me because no one has gone though all that i have. i guess that falls under tabula rasa....the clean slate theory or learning from experience. i love who i am and granted the road here has sucked pretty hard at some times im actually able to say that im glad it happened.

so im reading the catcher in the rye and i hate it. actually i hate houlden. he is way to negative and depressed all the time. he doesnt apply himself to anything he does and i just cant get myself to read it. it sucks because i am about half way done and i have to have all the ap work done by monday. we should just have to turn it in the first day of class in jan. i totally would love mrs. weddington if she did that but i KNOW she wont. oh well. only thing that sucks is all the ap history studying i have to do this weekend. THAT bites. at least i dont have calc to do. thank god for sociology where i can sit there and talk and do calc at the same time. gotta love mr. pitzer.

i was going to go see mary tomorrow night but i dont know if i will. i know the show by heart and this would be the first year i havent been in it for what?? six years? yea i know. kinda sad but i didnt think it would be worth it.....that is until after it started and i realized ryan hardiman is in it. too bad he isnt wearing leather pants this time. now THAT was a fun show.....granted i was a whore in it but fun nonetheless.

there are two new girls at work and THEY ROCK!!! i LOVE them. they are so nice. they are still of couse getting used to the store so you still have to show them things but they are good workers and very nice and VERY funny. i love it!!

so as for that....that is my pondering.....was that enough for you blair?? lol

em

sometimes i feel like i have no life. what with school, showchoir and work....i really dont have much time to go out anymore. i dont know. i guess its a good thing my friends are all busy too....that way im not alone in this feeling.

i realize how odd i must come across to people. think about it. i love the outdoors and getting dirty but i LOVE high heels and lipstick. im just one odd chick. maybe that is just what makes me special. who knows....we'll just go with that. it sounds good

so im compleatly in love with the lion king on broadway. it is one of the few shows i havent seen and i love the cd. so now im dying to go see it. hopefully i can go sometime soon.

i feel fat.....def ate at mi pueblito tonight AND waffle cone wed. *Sigh* ill survive but still.

christmas is coming up and im not ready for it.....formal is too and im DEF not ready for that one. as i said....no time to do anything.oh well as i said...im tough i can handle it.

well tis time for me to do some long avoided hw. LATA

em

WOW it really has been a long time since i posted. actually a lot of drama happened in between the last entry and this one. *shrugs* everything is fine now.

im happy. for the first time in a while i can honestly say that i am happy.

my friend yashoni lost someone very close to her and im having a hard time in being there for her. its hard when you dont know what to say. its a good thing she knows i love her.

school starts back tomorrow. it didnt even seem like it was a break.....considering i worked all day all week. *Sigh* i seriously am about to nod off.

IM SO EXCITED FOR CHRISTMAS. mainly because i cant wait to go to denver and kansas!!!!!! hopefully i will get to see alex but since we are not going there on christmas eve he will most likely be out of town which totally sucks. i miss that boy. im also extreamly excited to see my cousins. it will just be fun.

so i work today and not too much is going on in the meantime. ill have to update whenever something good happens. *sigh* so far no luck

later guys...

em

isnt it ironic how things always turn out compleatly opposite of what you expect?? if THAT doesnt prove god has a sense of humor i dont know what does. life is so amusing sometimes.

life is actually calming down. i have more time to hang out with friends and still finish my school work. life is actually pretty decent for me at the moment.

something is confusing me. i honestly dont know what to think. confusion is NOT my fav emotion.

boys suck. in general. just saying.

i have a paper due tomorrow. i havent finished it yet. i will do it at lunch...its halfway done anyway. i just need to type it. this way i dont have to start all over to type it....not like that would be much of a hinderance. but still....

why is it that i want everyone to be in love with me?? and why is it that i dont even feel the least bit remorseful for this feeling??? i dont know.....im a horrible person.

i know this sounds like a pity entry but im really actually pretty content with most aspects of my life. school is great and my friends are amazing. im still sad that our last year together is flying by so fast but im trying to savor what i have left. on top of that i really dont have much to complain about, other than the fact that i need new clothes im taken care of....i hate taking that for granted. so dont feel bad for me...im really not depressed im just....looking at my life from a distance.

i know this may sound weird but on the topic of looking at my life at a distance thing....i was thinking about my lifestyle and if i am really happy with how i act around others. because i want everyone to love me i have not been as strong of a person as i would like to be...maybe im just slacking but it really has got me thinking about my life in general. maybe im in for a change....not a big one lol but one none the less.

ok.....NOW im really done!!!! THANKS FOR READING!!!

em

do you ever feel like you do things just to fit in?? i dont know. boys are dumb....yes thats right i apologize to all the perfectly decent guys out there but i have yet to meet and be attracted to one. nothing functional happens to me anymore.

i went out tonight. saw one of my loves...allison!!! texas chainsaw had no plot whatsoever. on a brighter note...saw three looks REALLY good. im sure it will be since the first two kicked ass. hannah's parents are NAZIS. she isnt allowed to do ANYTHING. i dont know if i could live like that. i LOVE my freedom. granted my mom is crazy and paranoid but she lets me go out all the time. im never home in the evenings anymore.

school sucks. things have started to hit me like none other. major stress. sociology still kicks butt though. love that class.

i work tomorrow from eight to four then i have a wedding. sunday i work nine to something and then i have to study all weekend. monday i am shopping with hannah and meagan and then we are going to church....maybe. whatev. needless to say i will have no free time this weekend....i think that is what my life is missing. emily time. i need to schedule it in....although that kinda defets the purpose. anyway.....

i realized i really need help. i need to go to my therapist more often. so much just seems to happen to me. *sigh* tis a demanding life i lead.

em